What's your sign? I will leave that up to your imagination. Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. Still Alive synonyms - 44 Words and Phrases for Still Alive I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. I'm alive, whoa! Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. As anyone who knows anything about human biology will know, when a woman misses her period, that is a sign she is pregnant.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_13',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); Therefore, if she were to rely on your messages for her period, she would be pregnant by now. Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. Keep talking. Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. Congratulations, sir. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? No, waitIm actually plural. Because if you are, youre doing it right. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. For your information, Im in a relationship with food. What is the most creative reply to, are you still alive? If I had a tail, I would wag it! Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Is it your job to spread ignorance? Yup, I dont share it. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. 25 Witty Comebacks To Use On Terrible Pick Up Lines At least my hair looks amazing. The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. Funny Responses to "How Are You?" (& Other Questions!) - Science of People I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. Because they are already taking their time. Brilliant! I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. Want to equip yourself with more responses? 1. I'm alive! via: Pexels / George Pak. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. Funny give back answer for who are your ex boyfriends? 16. The Funniest Replies for People Who Are Always Asked "Are You Okay?" Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. "See, I will finally make you smile.". 43. Oh, stop it, will you? What do you say when people ask you that? Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. 75. Stop joking! You want to make them laugh, not yell. - Anonymous. She works with her clients to help them evolve in their problem areas and find new meaning in their lives, thus finding the best versions of themselves. I think I am doing alright. Learn more about us here. Nice outfit. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. 35 Auto Reply Text Message Ideas: Funny, Professional, Effective In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. Unlikely, but worth a shot. Someone took their costume way too seriously. Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. Haha basically a sassy way to say, "I'm still alive." By acting as though they are replying too fast, you highlight the fact that they are replying too slow. Take Your Time. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. Congrats, guys! I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. 8. What could go wrong? 37. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. I died last week, since then. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." 1. I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. 96. Not so much. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. 13. I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". (perfect for vegans). This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. Not everybody may appreciate them. 69. (Explained). You don't need to say it. Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. 48. . I'm fine. If I was doing any better, I would hire you to enjoy it with me. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. I dont think youre stupid. What's your sign? 95+ Heartwarming Alive Jokes | buried alive, stayin alive jokes Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. (bonus points to you if you sing it). 6. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. Click here for additional information. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? 5. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. Boom. 7. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . "Any day above ground is a good day. Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. A real low-life. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. In fact, they're taking too much of it. Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. Well, are you? 2 I'm Still on the Right Side of the Grass As long as you're still breathing, you can use this reply. Youll never be even half the man your mother is. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. But Ive also had better. How to respond to an ex asking how you are? Were already married, remember?! 99 Savage And Funny Answers To "How Old Are You?" Physically? When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! 71. But half the time, it is a nightmare. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! For instance, have you hooked up since you've broken up? I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. Its going great, really! (Say it like he or. Heart-shattering. Could be payday. If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. I cant really complain, but I will still try. 11. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? "Hey You, I'm really good. If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. Is everything stable at your end? Siri, why am I still single?