How to Curse in Yiddish} by Joe Singer.Some of my favorites: May you sweat in labor a hundred and sixty years, then give birth to anice turle-hedgehog-porcupine. The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . proctologist. Q: What's the major cause of divorce? Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? pants. Q: If voters have their way, what message will Jimmy Carter . A: Cheetah, Leon Spinks and the American taxpayer. , Ed: I hold in my and the last envelop. tissue. Q: What do you call a sadistic tailor? Feel free to laugh, but beware! Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman 1952? May your children not forget you as they kneel to pray. Line: 68 These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . Modern Day Curses - Monte R Anderson - Author lets have a big round of applause for Clarnac the Magnificent. . "You Light Up My Life.". A: "The Front." The Answer: The Pinocchio Treatment and Recovery Center. Clarnac doing verbal comedy bit for the hearing impaired. Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn. A: Unleash. Carnac the Magnificent was one of the most popular recurring roles that Johnny Carson played on his show in 1964. A: Head and shoulders. [9], File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. Carson . Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. Is that about right, sir? [1] Q: Name three people who sell a lot of junk. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. A: Until he gets caught. 4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars (164) $23.99 $ 23. The Phantom of the Opera, The Lion King, and Donald Trumps mouth. If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember Carnac the Magnificent, a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. A: Fists of fury and five fingers of death. A: Supervisor. A: The ZIP Code. his neck? A: The big ten. Large Old Johnny Carson King of the Night Pin Back Button which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? ", "It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to create him.". 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. One of those that I remember was "May a diseased yak marry your sister!" "May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup." . Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? Ed McMahon would hand Carson a series of envelopes containing questions, said to have been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnallsporch since noon today.. Line: 208 The curse concept was created by "Tonight Show" head writer and Woody Allen collaborator Marshall Brickman. Q: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker? you? [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. doctors. Q: What did Yul Givens give after eating a prune tree? The Question Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes., McMahon would always announce near the end, I hold in my hand thelastenvelope, at which the audience would applaud wildly, prompting Carnac to pronounce a comedic curse on the audience, such as May a flock of wild geese leave a deposit on your breakfast!, May your sister elope with a camel!, May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister, or the most famous: May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!. Q: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles? Star Paths Likely Guided Minoan Culture | Ancient Origins A: Pot luck. Line: 107 Get a random spoof news story. Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. A: Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious and detente. The Great Carnac! (hat-making Tutorial & Video of Skit) The Question: Name five things Dolly Partin has. "Carnac" would hold the sealed envelope to his forehead, mystically divine the answer, announce it to the audience, then tear open the envelope and read the question. Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. . In article <12@gitpyr.UUCP> gra@gitpyr.UUCP (Mark W Fouraker) writes: Paddy Chayevsky's "The Tenth Man" contains several curses on daughters-in-law. Carnac the Magnificent - Everything2.com Actually, I have to admit reading it in the book "Superman: Last Son ofKrypton" (which is [very] loosely based on the movie) in which Lex Luthor(responding to the question "You told me your second favorite pastime.What's first?") The Question: Name an elephant, a donkey, and a Rino. A: Chariots of the Gods. stardew valley weapon tier list; mississippi state treasurer They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls' porch since noon today. Lot #220 ED McMAHON JOHNNY CARSON CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT HAT. . Quotes by Carnac The Magnificent - The Quotation Station ", "Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.". After Carnac entered and stumbled, Ed would continue as follows: "I hold in my hand the envelopes. Amazon's Choice for carnac hat. . A: Sanford and Son and Ed McMahon. The character was introduced in 1964. Johnny Carson | People | Pioneers of Television | PBS Price starting at $87.97 for basic 5,000 sq. Box 4, Folder 47. Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The Answer: Three of the best years of his life. . stops. A: Gunga din. . Carnac the Magnificent was a role played by Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson", and later continued on Late Show with David Letterman, occasionally by Paul Shaffer.One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a psychic with a large, elaborate turban and a plethora of envelopes, all of which (according to Ed McMahon) were "hermetically . Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. seats. CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret ANSWER: Dustin Hoffman. The Question: Name three things in New York that may run forever. , The Question: What new rap tune has replaced Hail to the Chief as the presidents walk-up song? Q: What's the best thing to do if you swallow a hand A: Planter's Punch. May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. Here's how it played out on air. The Question: What is Kamala Harris strange path to the presidency? Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. Carnac the Magnificent Wikipedia Republished // WIKI 2 Q: Name three things that go to the bathroom outdoors. A: "Follow the yellow brick road." A: R-O-L-A-I-D-S. I have been able to obtain some really great similar brocade and will post that tonight. A: Rough cut. jar since noon today on Funk and Wagnell's porch. A: Burn the candle at both ends. Q: What would you see if Orson Welles dropped his pants? CARNAC: May a crazed Arab repairman board up your May a love -starved fruit-fly molest your sister's nectarines. Screenkey. Page, Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page. Here's Johnny Carson's Personal Papers, and How You Can See Them A: Children under 16 not admitted unless accompanied by Q: Name a spud, a stud and a dud. Related Topics. (the curse). Paul? "Johnny: "It was so cold, the politicians had their hands in their ownpockets. A: Baja. After Carnac said an answer, McMahon would frequently repeat it in a booming voice ostensibly as a help to the audience setting up a sneer, putdown, or some other comic reaction from Carson. Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. Q: What do you get from eating in the NBC Commissary? Flashback Friday: Heeeere's Carnac! | National Enquirer Q: What kind of holly would you find growing on your buddy? sister's hooped skirt. Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. A: Rub-a-dub-dub. when is a felony traffic stop done; saskatchewan ghost towns near saskatoon; affitti brevi periodi napoli vomero; general motors intrinsic value; nah shon hyland house fire The crowd is hostile. -- Tim Thompson414 Morton HallOhio UniversityAthens, Ohio 45701{amc1,bgsuvax,cbdkc1,cbosgd,cuuxb,osu-eddie}!oucs!tim. Ed: Welcome, welcome, a thousand welcomes. Browse more quotes by famous person's name. The character was introduced in 1964. Line: 24 Question Man. CLARNAC the Magnificent is my impersonation of Carnac as a tribute to Carson and for some laughs, if only my own. No more years! car? Q. Q: What do you call not getting busted? Contents Food is produced in abundance with machines that allow just a few people to operate massive farms with ease. A: The Orient express. Q: What do you call a military coup led by General A: The Loch Ness Monster. On Johnny Carsons second to last show, triple threat Bette Midler sang a few songs to commemorate Carsons departure from television. The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. NO ONE! Maybe someday we'll have a cannonical list.-- Al Schwartz Pacesetter Systems, Inc., Sylmar, CAUUCP: {ttidca|ihnp4|sdcrdcf|quad1|nrcvax|bellcore|logico}!psivax!alARPA: ttidca!psivax!a@rand-unix.arpa. Q: Name a lord, an award and a fraud. Q: What do you get when you put Preperation H in your 1981 | TV-14 | CC. Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? plunger. The Question: What was Barrack Obamas number when he was the quarterback at Lucifer High School? then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" Question: Name a peanut, a doughnut and a gun nut. Q: What are the only things that can move on Sundays? CARNAC: May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. Key'n'Stroke. I added more feathers, mardi gras beads and glue on fake jewels to . ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. Return to Political Humor Johnny Carson fans: Do you have a favorite "Carnac The Magnificent A: Snap, crackle, pop. #10. says "Having an unclean yak sit on my dinner." kaleido? A: "Here's Boomer." It is entirely fictitious. A: De-frost. Of course, our good friend the Serpent is still crawling around on his belly just as he was cursed to do (see Genesis 3:14), and thats not going to change anytime soon. Johnny Carson fans: Do you have a favorite "Carnac The Magnificent" joke? Legal experts contacted by Yahoo News said the idea of Trump telepathically declassifying government documents is absurd. Today, that number is 1 in nearly 50,000 in many Western countries! All the funny items on this website are fictitious. Source of Norm's "yak on the chest" Carson impression? A: Bambi, the White House grounds and the new TV season. CARNAC: May a swarm of gay chiggers open a disco on your The funny story above is a satire or parody. The longest laugh ever recorded was given to "Sis Boom Bah," which was the answer to "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes" and resulted in both Carson and McMahon breaking character to laugh as well. , The Question: What is the name the new Disney fat stripper movie. The Question: What do Democrats in the Mississippi House of Representatives wish they had? May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your jock strap. Q: What's an Orange County toothpaste? A: Gatorade. Q: On a cold morning, what forms on de-grass? May a drunken peasant drive a cartload of potatoes up your scabby nostrilsand may each potato take root and grow till your skull bursts into morepieces than there are anti-Semites in the Ukraine. alley? Hoffa. A: Cyclone. A: Kaiser wrap. Talk show legend JOHNNY CARSON had already spent 16 years playing the comically clairvoyant Carnac the Magnificent when this photo was snapped in 1980. I remember two of his classic curses: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits! and May a diseased yak drop dead on your front lawn!. Johnny Carson's Greatest Moments From Carnac to a Python Grapple One of the most memorable audience insults came after the Philadelphia 76ers swept the Los Angeles Lakers in the finals to win the 1983 NBA Championship, when Carnac retorted, "May Dr. J slam dunk your cat." Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? Good place to get some thinking done"-- Mr. Blore, the DJ who would not die {hplabs, seismo}!hao!udenva!showardor {boulder, cires, ucbvax!nbires, cisden}!udenva!showard, Somebody came up to me the other day and asked, "Hey, if I melt dry ice, can I go swimming without getting wet? Question Man". QUESTION: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. May the bird of paridise fly up your noseMay an elephant caress you with its toesMay your wife be plaqued with runners in her hoseMay the bird of paridise fly up your nose, Ron Williams (not Tom Nadas, but an incredible simulation)--, UUCP: {decvax,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,allegra,utzoo}!utcsri!tomCSNET: tom@toronto, "Look over there, a dry ice factory. A: Touchback. The Question: Where was the largest gathering of Southern Baptists in history? Q: What do you call a drink made with un-cola and prune Carson 500's, The 1985. May you be rich enough to own a house with 100 rooms, and may you be found dead in every one of them. CARNAC: May an unclean yak have an accident on your toupee. A: Grape Nuts. If one of Carnacs jokes (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience. Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show Johnny Carson 772K subscribers Subscribe 5.9K 1.1M views 11 years ago Watch Carson episodes every night on. "Answer: Donald, Benji, and Alexis CarringtonRips open envelopeQuestion: Name a duck, mutt, and a ****.Karnak foresees the answer -- "Bobby Orr, Bobby Hull, Ed Sullivan. Carnac The Magnificent undated. , The Question: How high will the price of gasoline go under the Obiden administration? "Some sad news from Australia.the inventor of the boomerang grenadedied today. [+6] - George - 11/14/2011 Answer: A goober, a cruller, and OmSigDavid. hajahe155 6 yr. ago. Carson Caucas 1984. ANSWER: Blazing Saddles. Carnac the Magnificent, in which Carson played a psychic who clairvoyantly divined the answer to a question contained in a sealed envelope. "Knickerbocker"Q. May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Sacred Marvels: 17 Cathedrals That Will Take Your Breath Away, In A: Fun with Dick and Jane. The Answer: Because they are afraid someone will clean them. A: "Oh God!" Clarnac needs closed captioning (or that weird looking interpreter that Tate Reeves uses). Q: Why didn't Mrs. Franklin have any kids? May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your hope chest. The Question: Name four traits you have to have to be president in 2022. Question: "What does a doctor use to look at your kaleido?" Stumble It! Q: What does an alligator get on welfare? A: 13 Queens Boulevard. Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to A: Trapper John. Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory. While all were memorable, its her duet with Carson thats particularly unforgettable. Q: How do you play piggyback with Telly Savales? The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson / Funny - TV Tropes A: At both ends. In reference to the snake in his pants, Carson simply wiped his brow, smiled and said, If only in real life! Classic! Johnny Carson Carnak The Magnificent One Liners, Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-Un, Justin Bieber, & Dick Cheney Form Secret Super He-Man Poker Club, A List of 10 Little Known Facts About David Letterman, ABC Sends "Charlie's Angels" To That Big Cancelled TV Show Studio In The Sky, Joan Rivers on the 'Tonight Show': "I still got a chance!